S Club Mama

When I was pregnant with Moose in 2006, I was taking education classes and we discussed autism. I remember thinking, "oh Lord, anything but that." My husband remembers me praying about it, too. It wasn't until 2010 his autism was diagnosed. It was hard and full of emotional questions: was this my fault for past transgressions, was this my fault physically, why, now what. In those 5 years since, I've learned SO much about being a mom, a wife, a human being, a Christian that I otherwise would not have learned if I'd had a "normal" kid my firstborn (Squirt does not have autism). I have learned to pray that God be glorified in these really hard moments (when our firstborn had his first seizure this year and subsequent epilepsy diagnosis). Whether He is glorified in how we handle the situations presented, in our parenting, in our struggles, in our lives. We want Him glorified and so I say "anything" as we await this third child this summer. ...

Dear mama,  Life is hard, isn't it? All those phone calls, medical terms (followed by insanely scary Google searches - stop it), doctor appointments, no-sleep nights because of the "what ifs" drifting in. It's overwhelming. To top it off, you actually have to be a mother and love, discipline, nurture, make food, take them places, socialize, eat (please eat), shower.   I was lucky. Life was relatively normal for about 2 years into motherhood. I mean, it was hard but I thought that hard was normal (and to an extent, it is normal. ALL mothering is hard, special needs or not!). And then we got the diagnosis that made some of the hard better explained. Didn't make it harder or easier, but explained so we could do something about it.   Then added on top of normal mothering stuff, we had the doctor appointments, therapies, trying out diets (that didn't work), fishing through quack doctors vs. real doctors. And we came to our new normal.   It was hard. I am coming...

I like reading memoir-type books about mothers with autism spectrum kiddos. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone in this jungle of ASD weirdness. "Sand in My Sandwich (and other motherhood messes I'm learning to love)" by Sarah Parshall Perry was right up my alley. She's got two kids on the spectrum (and her gender numbers will be the same as our own: 2 boys, 1 girl). image via amazon.com There were many places in the book where I was shaking my head in agreement. She uses a pretty well-known quote in ASD circles that is: if you know one autistic kid, you know one autistic kid. Which basically means that they are all so different. I know 4 kids around my son's age with autism and not one of them seems to be exactly the same (and really very little overlap of tics & such). However, in "Sand in My Sandwich" I felt like Perry used a lot of blanket statements for autistic kids rather than pinpointing these were specific to her kids. She a...

Last night, I was thinking back to Moose's parent-teacher conference. Really great (for both kids, actually). He's participating in class - raising his hand in math, focusing. He only leaves the inclusive classroom for a few sensory breaks as needed. It's really hard to believe how far he's come in the past 4-5 years. For those of you who didn't know him as a two-year-old, the young man he's becoming is incredible. The only downside to his conference was talking about him socially. He is SUCH a friendly person. He says hi to everyone, is really nice, has a big ol' heart. BUT. He prefers to play by himself. And when he plays with other kids, it's always them playing what he wants to play. It's difficult as a mom to watch your son purposefully keep himself apart from others. Now, I don't want kids who just follow the crowd (who really does?) but I want them to have friends. And elementary school is a pivotal time to make those friends or at least...

With Moose it seems when we have attacked one problem behavior (usually more embarrassing than harmful), another one comes along. So as soon as we seemed to have solved the hands down the pants ordeal (by wearing non-elastic waistband pants always), he began to chew on his collars. Collar chewing is not problematic in that it harms anyone or anything...except the shirts! Those precious shirts that I'm saving for Squirt's hand-me-downs. I don't mind hand-me-downs (mostly) but I do mind nasty chewed up, twisted collars. With this comes hours of my time scouring Etsy and the internet for something to combat this with. Etsy came to my rescue...my laundry's rescue...by showing me the iPuke shop . Yes, you read that correctly, iPuke. I'll let Sandy, the shop owner, explain for herself. It just makes sense to go with the flow. The birth of my daughter had been 15 years in waiting. All was perfect with the pregnancy and we came home after my C-section to a changed ...

I know I do many book reviews on here, but let me tell you this: "Life, Animated" by Ron Suskind is one of the best books I have ever read in my life. Perhaps because it is so personal to me - about Ron's son who has autism and loves Disney movies. My own son with autism loves movies and tv in general - he doesn't care who makes it. But he, too, has a vast knowledge of lines running through his head. image via Ron Suskind's website Suskind's son, Owen, used Disney movies (older, hand-drawn ones as this was mostly in the 90s) after he regressed into autism (unlike my own son who didn't regress, just stopped progressing for awhile) around age three. He used Disney to re-learn to speak, later to read (using the credits), and always to communicate with his family. Sometimes my son will use lines from movies or shows in appropriate ways but the Suskind family truly used whole scenes to develop a unique way to speak with their son. I am just amazed at the...

I thought I would enjoy this book by Randy Lewis, "No Greatness Without Goodness," simply because he has an autistic son and so do I and he's made Walgreens into a company that includes disabled people in its workforce. But it was so much more. I found myself nodding along with him when he said his son, Austin, "has taught us to celebrate the little victories." I understood. Moose finally can swing on the swings by himself and go high! I cried as they found out Austin's diagnosis for their grief that most parents go through in these situations. image via Amazon Our sons are very different (Lewis used a saying from the autism community that I'd never heard before: "if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism.") but the protective parenting is something I completely understand. Lewis started with the idea to integrate those with disabilities into Walgreens distribution centers because he was worried for...

I had two IEP meetings last week. Now, if you watch Parenthood (as I love to do), I will say that I don't understand why that lady last week was freaking out about IEPs. I don't think they are THAT difficult or scary. But we've worked with a really great school system, so that helps, I guess. Anyway, the first was for Squirt. They have dismissed him from speech therapy. His speech is not perfect, but it is age appropriate. No, we will not celebrate this for now as I'm not sure how to do that without making it seem like speech therapy is "bad" and we still have one in it, so...yeah. Yay for Squirt! At this meeting, I was asked if he will attend Kindergarten next year. Answer: about 90% yes. My concerns are from his emotional state; I think he's a little lacking there (and by that he whines - a lot - especially when he doesn't get what he wants now. Yes that's typical of a 4yo but it seems different). Academically, the kid is there. He is smart. ...

Yesterday at church, our children sang a few Christmas songs. Squirt's class sang The Friendly Beasts (which my MIL had informed us the day prior was a Peter, Paul, & Mary tune...who knew?). Then Moose's class joined them. After his few (loud) whispers of "hi, Steve Rogers [Captain America's alter ego]" and copied shushing [to me], the classes sang a version of Joy to the World. Then the littles departed and left the big kids to sing and sign We Three Kings. Very good signing and I was very proud of my boys. Squirt for not bursting out in tears (which he looks like he'll do each time he's in front of a crowd) and Moose for keeping his hands out of his pants (an on-going problem, although his belly made a few appearances). Then about 5 kids took part, front and center stage, to share some of their memory verses from this semester. Moose was last. He said 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstance,...

I wonder if I'm the only parent of an autistic child who gets SO tired of the autism and vaccine debate. If you're unfamiliar, let me boil it down to this. Some people think autism is caused by vaccines (specifically the MMR). Some people don't. There are numerous studies to each side.  Fine and dandy as this debate is (although it really can turn very ugly), here's the real answer: we don't know! Autism functions so differently in each case, how can we possibly say one specific thing causes it? We can't. I believe it could be many factors causing each case. Because my son's autism doesn't look like Temple Grandin's or the boy from The Golden Hat foundation. They all look different.  The thing that has come to my attention that bothers me greatly is calling autism a " brain damage ." Yes, there are many cases where autism does go hand-in-hand with other disorders and disabilities, including mental retardation. However, cal...

I have a hard time dealing with the unknowns of life....read more about it at Her View From Home where I'm guest posting today. Also, today is the last day to enter my "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp giveaway - 2 copies! Low entries (4 entries by 2 people).

As summer rolls along, I've been asked several times, "how did school go for Moose?" I'm awed that others would be curious, but maybe that's a normal question for everyone to ask after kindergarten. But I know, as always, there's special connotation for Moose. We didn't know how a highly structured world of school (beyond more unstructured preschool) would go for Moose. Anyway, so I thought I would share how I think school went. AWESOME! Academically, he did really well. Spelling words was easy peasy around our house; I think he missed one word on his tests all year (backwards b or something like that). Words are his thing. Math went OK. I've been impressed this summer as we've done some worksheets how many addition and subtraction problems he can do without his hands. That seemed to be a problem for him when he couldn't use his fingers. Estimation is not his forte; it's just not concrete. He wants to count things. Guessing anything i...

Just in case I forgot about autism in our family, today Moose decided to throw a tantrum as soon as we got to school. He'd been playing/reading just fine - full of energy - at home and as soon as we walked in to school, "I feel badly." What? He says he's sick (no symptoms, although I've been ill). Sits on the floor outside of his classroom. I ask Squirt if he can walk to his classroom by himself today. Surprisingly, he says yes and does it so well (after he gets his hug and kiss - what a big boy). He's heavy and we stand him up a few times. We being the IRC (not 100% recollecting what that means but basically special education) and his regular classroom teacher and myself. OK he's not that big but when a 60 some pound kid decides to not stand, it takes a bit to get him up. I think we got him convinced to stay at school but my cell phone is ready for the call "he threw up." Happy Autism Awareness Day - when you remember that your child ca...

This is the second year in a row I've missed lighting my own house up blue (I just plumb forgot this year). Blue? Yeah, blue is the color for National Autism Awareness Day. April is Autism Awareness Month but April 2 is specifically the day to light up your house, building, whatever blue. It's an amazing awareness opportunity for towns, cities, companies, and families to show their support for the community of families who have this challenge daily. My favorite place that lights it up blue is the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio, Brazil. Because, of course, no one can comfort families facing such a challenge as our Savior.

After our first appointment with an allergist, Dr. B, we were not happy with the entire experience. His tests showed that Moose was allergic to everything under the sun: molds, grasses, foods, animals. He's never had a rash or any sort of reaction (although this doctor said he had neurological reactions); and the only allergy tie-in I've ever seen to autism is to gluten and casein (proteins found in wheat and dairy). I had read/heard about many testimonials from parents of other ASD kids who have seen improvements (usually on a large scale) when their child was placed on a GFCF (gluten-free, casein-free) diet. I believe that most of these kids had GI (gastrointestinal) problems and/or allergies to gluten/casein - Moose does not have any GI problems. skin tests at Dr. B's 10/11 Now, I'm level-headed enough to realize that scientists and medical professionals do not always recommend this diet because there is not enough proof about it. I also know that sometimes do...

Since learning of Moose's autism diagnosis, there have been many cases of information overload. With that overload come differing opinions, extremists, and what-the-heck moments. It's so hard to know what to believe, what is true, what will help, what is hooey. Yesterday's trip to the allergist was no different. This allergist had come highly recommended by friends but our doctor was hesitant about our visit. When we arrived, there was a lot of information (some that seemed like hooey. i.e. claims that food CAUSED autism, ear infections were CAUSED by milk allergies). There were a lot of unanswered questions (why doctors wouldn't give this business' allergy shots, adverse reactions to the shots). Red flags showed themselves to us so much (not being a board certified allergist, for one). But what do we believe and what don't we believe? I talked with a friend today who has had such a positive experience through this doctor with her son; it's hard not to t...

Mama Kat's (pretty much) World Famous Writer's Workshop gives us bloggers a break on figuring a topic once a week. It's been awhile since I've participated but I love Mama Kat & always read her blog. This week I'll be writing on prompt #5: What’s your stance on ‘labeling’? Were you labeled as a child? Have you labeled your own children? How do you feel about this?  I wasn't labeled as a kid. My school didn't have a gifted program so the only labels were for those who needed extra help. I really wish I would have gone to another school with a gifted program. I think being challenged in school more growing up would have helped me (maybe) with acting out in high school. I also would have been better prepared for college. Having two sons who have labels (autistic and speech delayed) gives me conflicting feelings. I have a good friend who HATES labels - and I understand her feelings. Labels can give kids opportunity to put down or make fun of those who...

Moose has been having a difficult time this year with following directions. His teacher says she can tell he's testing the waters, seeing how far he can go. I've noticed it here, too, at home. I know this is an important developmental milestone that all kids reach (usually much sooner than 4-years-old, too). It's also a frustrating milestone. I dislike hearing that Moose tells his teachers, "no, I don't want to follow directions." He does well sometimes and he knows the answer to the question, "are you going to follow directions today?" That doesn't mean he will, unfortunately. That being said, on good following directions days, I am elated! I'm elated that he loves his teachers so much (which he does regardless of how he acts - same with how he loves me regardless of how he acts). I've written a social story for him about following directions. He loves social stories. He does even understand the ones I've written. Apparently it...

A little boy was lost for an hour or two on Saturday in our town. Just a few years older than Moose with red hair and autism. My heart immediately went out to his mother; I know how panicked and afraid I'd be if Moose were a wanderer. My son hasn't shown to be (yet) but as he grows, who knows, so I try my best to be vigilant. He doesn't play outside by himself ever. Today (the 4th) I took a walk up to the train tracks about 1/4 north of our house with my boys. They love the trains and I was bored sitting around watching them play cars. So we took hands with 2 rules: 1) hold mommy's hand, 2) listen to mommy. They did really good listening - they even got to pet someone's pet rat (yuck). On our way back home, there was a little boy with red hair and no shirt came up to talk with us. He'd been talking to these two high school aged girls but trailed us. He just started talking; I could tell this was the same boy who had been lost just two days ago. I let him wal...

Moose doesn't show a wide range of emotion - mad, happy, REALLY mad, excited, anxious. I don't remember ever seeing him sad but it's possible it's come out as another emotion. Many autistic children don't show a wide range of emotion; I know this doesn't mean that they don't feel or have a wide range. They just may show it differently or not know how to express what they're feeling. That can make it tough when you're the parent. Sometimes I have to put words to Moose's expression of emotion and pray I'm putting the right words to what he's feeling. I had the opportunity to review the Emotion Dominoes from the store From Fragments to Furniture and Beyond Etsy shop. Megan's own son is autistic and the inspiration for these emotion dominoes. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to find a shop so tuned into my world. ha! Megan also has listings for texture buttons, opposites buttons, alphabet buttons, and number buttons - all wonde...