S Club Mama

We had a snow day today (and probably tomorrow). It started off good...then went south as the second child woke up and the bickering commenced. Then it swelled to a big yell-fest by yours truly until it crumbled into a heap of tears from the three of us. repentance acceptance forgiveness love The rest of our day has gone much smoother, like we needed to get that out of the way. But really the only thing that got out of our way was my attitude. I don't know why I act the ways I tell myself I won't act (wow, that sounds like some disciple I once read about...). I don't want to yell, yet I yell. I don't want to lose my patience, but I end up snapping. Ugh. Yet, I am reminded by a blog I found upon a friend's Facebook link that my attitude let satan in today . I let him admire me for my lost patience, my endurance not gained, my time wasted in stress. No more. Yelling does nothing for me and I hate when I do it. And through the power of the Holy Spirit in ...

I had a super hard conversation with a friend today, a friend who I love very much, even though she thinks I hate her. At the end of the conversation, I was really made to feel bad. We had talked about sins and it was brought up that she had seen me hit Moose in the head with a coloring book and call him an idiot. I don't remember the incident directly but I don't doubt it one bit. To be perfectly honest and to lay it all out there, parenting has brought out the worst in me. To be fair, it's also brought out the best in me. I've never felt happier. And I've never felt angrier. It's like it brought out my bipolar side. My children are safe but they are not always cuddled. My children are happy but they are disciplined.  I think it's safe to say marriage has brought out those best/worst sides as well. I don't yell at anyone quite as well as I yell at Big A. I also don't treat anyone quite as sweetly as I treat him.  I believe it's completely sa...

I've been thinking a lot about grace lately. God has given me so much grace. He's forgiven me so many things - "big" sins and "small" sins. But do I forgive others? Do I let things slide off my back? I don't. I hold grudges and get hurt...sometimes pretty easily. It doesn't help that I am sometimes paranoid - think people are talking about me, think someone is mad at me (when they aren't necessarily). I think it stems from a self-esteem issue (who doesn't have some of that on board?). But I'm trying. I'm trying to extend some of God's given grace. To my husband who can irritate me as easily as he can make me laugh. To my children who don't mean to make me upset, but do. To my extended family who drives me insane sometimes more often than not. To my friends who do a variety of things that are unintentional (not answer phone calls or emails, not setting up play dates, not visiting, not including) because we all get wrap...