Sunday, March 8, 2009

God's Will

Anthony & I have been talking about our situation to other staff members here. Some completely understand and some don't. It's most interesting to me that the Christians here (of course, we haven't talked to all of them) have said maybe Satan is using our feelings to give us doubt of why we're here or that God will protect us while we're here (in regards to my stress on the new baby). But it occurs to me that it could be God using our feelings to lead us out of here, it could be God using my stress to lead us out of here. God is limitless and I don't pretend to know him. But I know that as Anthony & I have talked about searching for jobs back in Nebraska, we both feel at peace. And peace comes from God; Satan doesn't use peace to get his way. Am I sure this is God's Will? No, but I'm also not sure it was God's Will for us to come. I had some serious doubts before we came that I never shared with Anthony, so maybe we weren't meant to be here. I mean, we're here and God uses us where we are, so this is in our plan. But maybe this was how God's Will also uses our free will - even if He didn't want us to come, we came so it's part of His Plan because He knows how our lives play out.
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I just need to write out my feelings. I feel at peace. I know we won't be leaving tomorrow or even the end of the month. But I think God is leading us back to Nebraska for whatever reason.
So why were we here? Maybe to realize how good we had it before we came, even though we were POOR. Maybe to have a doctor tell me I need a c-section seeing as our Nebraska doctor was set to deliver vaginally (and if that'd happened and I'd had the same thing happen again, who knows if it would have been repairable). Maybe to plant seeds while we're here. God never sets a date on His Plan so maybe it was for us to be here for a few months...maybe or maybe not. I don't like to guess His Plans.
All I can do is pray about it and allow God to talk to me, just as I've been doing.
Anyway, I really appreciate all of the encouragement I've been getting lately. Without going to church here, I've been missing that Christian aspect of my life (although I do get encouragement from our friends out here; we're just both busy so it's sad we don't see much of one another).
If you hear of any good jobs in Nebraska, let me know. lol


Kelsey said...

Your post makes perfect sense. I wish I had something inspirational to tell you, but you just have to go with your heart and what YOU think you should do. If you really hate it there, than start looking for other jobs back home. You shouldn't have to be unhappy because of your job.

Oh and I'm glad to see that you have a baby bump picture up now!! Very pretty.

EmmaP said...

you are right in the sense that peace comes from God.

something i learned from counseling. all emotions/feelings stem from 2 root emotions: Love and Fear. Fear is of Satan, while Love is of God. God is Love. Peace stems from Love, which comes from God. Anxiety/Stress stems from Fear, which is of Satan. Faith stems from Love (God). Faith and Fear cannot coexist. Meaning if you have pure faith in a certain thing, you shall have no fear about it. Having a perfect faith in something is H-A-R-D! Let Go and Let God. Breathe. Count to Ten. Maybe you are supposed to move on. Maybe you're not. Maybe this is a trial in which you will discover your own personal strength. And something to realize about choices is that often times it isn't a matter of choosing between "good" and "evil". Often times it's a matter of choosing between something Good and something Better. The trick or trial is to figure out which is the "better".

I don't know about you, but I will share you my experience with the power of prayer. When I am trying to make a choice between, I often times will take both a practical approach as well as a prayerful approach. As I am sure you have already done, I will outweigh the pro's and con's about a certain situation. Then I will use the reasoning tools God gave me to try to figure out which path is best. Then I will ask God... "Is this the path that is best? This is the path I feel inclined to go. If it is right, please help me to understand it is Thy will. However, if it is not right, please help me to see and bless me with the understanding as such."

Of course, most times the answer isn't clear up front. The more I ponder and pray about it, the more I realize that I begin to feel a certain way about it. I then will pray about that feeling... "I am feeling that this is the way I should go. Please bless me with the understanding that this is Thy will." and if I get a good peaceful feeling about it, I know that it is God's way of answering yes. However, if I get a feeling of complete void/nothingness, or if my mind/heart is beginning to fill with doubts or fears than I know that it is not right.

sounds like you already believe this and you just need someone to validate what you are feeling.

Just remember that the Lord will never give you more than you can handle. Stay prayerful. Always have a prayer in your heart. Oh - and I also believe that a mother's instinct/intuition - even for an unborn child - is a gift from God. So, use it; trust it; believe it.

And finally, I leave with you with three quotes I love.

"Come what may and love it." Joseph B Wirthlin.

"Find Joy in the Journey." Thomas S Monson.

"What a grand world this would be if we could forget our troubles as easily as we forget our blessings." - author unknown.

You will be ok, because in spite of some trials, you have found Joy in your Journey and you are constantly showing gratitude for your blessings. Keep the faith, and know that you can do hard things and you will be ok.

Hugs coming your way...

Honey Mommy said...

Sometimes it is SO hard to know what the right thing to do is. I think you are right though. If you make a decision and then pray about it, you will have peace and know if it is the right decision.

I hope it all works out for you wherever you end up!

happy followers