Generous Love: Discovering the Joy of Living "Others First" by Becky Kopitzke (book review)
Selflessness has never been a strong point in my character. I am often preoccupied about my schedule, my kids, my time, my appearance, etc. That's not a beautiful thing in the Kingdom of God. Not to say I don't need to take care of myself (we all do - oxygen masks first before putting it on a child), but I don't need to think of myself as highly or often as I do. So I try to better myself by reading God's Word and godly books pertaining to selflessness. "Generous Love" by Becky Kopitzke is just one of those godly books.
Oddly enough, just after I started reading this book, a dear friend gifted me with another of Kopitzke's books "The SuperMom Myth," which I am excited to read because I am exhausted when I think of all of my friends and myself trying to be all and do all for our children. But that's another post for another day (when I find the time to read the book).
Back to selflessness and "Generous Love." That's the whole premise of the book: discovering the joy of living "others first." The Bible teaches so much about submitting to one another out of love, the first will be last, etc and this book touches on so many of those things, so I'm just going to share a few gems that I appreciated or was convicted about.
Kopitzke wrote about washing her husband's coffee mug, a simple thing. "I could've let it sit. It was his mug after all, and he didn't expect me to wash it. I don't drink coffee...I had other stuff to do. But. How long would it take me to wash that mug? Sixty seconds, tops? And I was already standing at the sink...Why shouldn't I wash the mug? Better questions - why should I? If washing that mug says I love you and I'm thinking of you and You matter to me, isn't that worth a one-minute sacrifice out of my day? Isn't it worth way more than that?" I think about stuff like that - making the bed, sweeping the kitchen floor, folding the laundry. Except that last one, none of those things takes me very long (even very pregnant). And I know that acts of service is my husband's love language, so can't I take the time to do those things for him? He'll do them if I don't, but to him my action would say "I love you, babe. Thanks for taking care of us." What can you do today that's small and seemingly meaningless that would speak volumes to someone you love?
Humility is another hard character issue (related to selflessness!). Kopitzke says "...if living 'others first' is meant to display the love of Christ, then we cannot demand kudos. Our actions must be rooted in humility. Why? Because that's who Christ is. 'In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:5-11).'" That is always a heady passage for me. How can I demand a thank you or notice or attention when Christ Himself left His wonderful home in heaven to become a human (a weak human - a baby!!!) and then willingly, knowingly was obedient to a criminal's death (when he did nothing wrong!). How can I demand my own way when He loved me so much to do that for me?
This book is not just a good read, it has really good, Scripture-based questions at the end so it could be used as a Bible study, too. So grab a girlfriend and go through this book together. Or go it alone and find yourself wanting to change to have more generous love!
Disclaimer: I received this book in order to write an honest review. My opinions are my own and may differ from yours.
Oddly enough, just after I started reading this book, a dear friend gifted me with another of Kopitzke's books "The SuperMom Myth," which I am excited to read because I am exhausted when I think of all of my friends and myself trying to be all and do all for our children. But that's another post for another day (when I find the time to read the book).
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| image via Barnes & Noble |
Back to selflessness and "Generous Love." That's the whole premise of the book: discovering the joy of living "others first." The Bible teaches so much about submitting to one another out of love, the first will be last, etc and this book touches on so many of those things, so I'm just going to share a few gems that I appreciated or was convicted about.
Kopitzke wrote about washing her husband's coffee mug, a simple thing. "I could've let it sit. It was his mug after all, and he didn't expect me to wash it. I don't drink coffee...I had other stuff to do. But. How long would it take me to wash that mug? Sixty seconds, tops? And I was already standing at the sink...Why shouldn't I wash the mug? Better questions - why should I? If washing that mug says I love you and I'm thinking of you and You matter to me, isn't that worth a one-minute sacrifice out of my day? Isn't it worth way more than that?" I think about stuff like that - making the bed, sweeping the kitchen floor, folding the laundry. Except that last one, none of those things takes me very long (even very pregnant). And I know that acts of service is my husband's love language, so can't I take the time to do those things for him? He'll do them if I don't, but to him my action would say "I love you, babe. Thanks for taking care of us." What can you do today that's small and seemingly meaningless that would speak volumes to someone you love?
Humility is another hard character issue (related to selflessness!). Kopitzke says "...if living 'others first' is meant to display the love of Christ, then we cannot demand kudos. Our actions must be rooted in humility. Why? Because that's who Christ is. 'In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:5-11).'" That is always a heady passage for me. How can I demand a thank you or notice or attention when Christ Himself left His wonderful home in heaven to become a human (a weak human - a baby!!!) and then willingly, knowingly was obedient to a criminal's death (when he did nothing wrong!). How can I demand my own way when He loved me so much to do that for me?
This book is not just a good read, it has really good, Scripture-based questions at the end so it could be used as a Bible study, too. So grab a girlfriend and go through this book together. Or go it alone and find yourself wanting to change to have more generous love!
Disclaimer: I received this book in order to write an honest review. My opinions are my own and may differ from yours.
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