936 Weeks: Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting by Eryn Lynum (book review)
In my years of reading and being a parent, I've come across many books that are so good and touch me so deeply that they have truly transformed my parenting. I've also come across many duds that I couldn't finish because they were either full of bad writing or advice that just didn't fit my life. I had really high hopes for "936 Weeks: Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting" by Eryn Lynum.
The premise is that we have approximately 936 weeks from our child's birth to when they turn 18-years-old. Whoa! 936 weeks. Lynum was presented with a jar of 936 pennies on the days her children were dedicated at church. By those calculations I have approximately 360some weeks left with my 10-year-old, 470some weeks left with my 8-year-old, and 780some weeks with my 2-year-old. That's kind of mind-blowing, isn't it?
As I read through this book, I thought some of it was very idealistic: "And when those children grow up, the pursuits that they choose to chase after will be hugely impacted by how many of those pennies we spend amongst the evergreens and sunflowers." Lynum spends a lot of pages in this book talking about how important it is to get our children outside and into God's nature. While I agree, it's not always that easy. Lynum made it sound so easy to just spend all day every day outside with our kids. "When we surrender our own agendas, stop faking interest, and instead enter ourselves fully into our child's delight with outdoor play and discovery, we rediscover a childlike faith" "Spending our days outside has become an anomaly." While I cannot disagree with that last statement, it's not like parents can really spend so much time in the world of their children outside. I live in Kansas and typically November - February are inside months. This year that has spread to April. And we have agendas - many of you work (moms and dads), many of you have activities for yourselves and your children. I'm not saying Lynum is not right - that sometimes we should take a day off and spend it outside with our kids! However, there must be a balance and writing idealistically is hard on parents.
I also came to realize how young Lynum's children are. Her oldest is no older than 6-years-old. At that age, he may not even be in kindergarten! She hasn't gotten to the point where her boys are in Cub Scouts two times every month (times two boys) or go out for soccer and swim team, have school programs to attend. Add in our adult things - small group, leadership church meetings, etc, and sometimes it feels like family time in itself (inside or outside) is a commodity. That's sad but it's reality. And we aren't even the busiest family we know! Our kids don't play baseball or softball, they don't take piano or go to gymnastics/dance classes. We do camps one time a year in the summer when we have more free time. Family time is worth fighting for - absolutely, but it's difficult for me to take advice from someone with children who are so young. Someone who has hardly seen the tip of the iceberg in parenting. That's not to say this book isn't valuable.
I loved her chapters on "Speaking of Time" which revolved around our mouths, words, and characters as moms. She uses Ephesians 4:29 that says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Lynum says, "Our words hold incredible power. Although we will certainly use them wrongly, we also have the opportunity and responsibility to speak words that will build our children up. It is a high calling but also an incredible privilege to gift our children with words of life, and to witness them flourishing because of them." That's awesome! "Our words are one thing that we will give our children that will last beyond these 936 weeks; words hold the power to influence them for the rest of our days, and for generations." My mouth is one of my biggest struggles so I hold tight to the thought that my words can have power over my children.
My very favorite chapter was called "Chapters." She talked about paying attention to our kids. Really paying attention. While I was reading this chapter, I was sitting outside on our front step with my daughter, eating lunch. I felt her lean into my crossed legs and it was such a beautiful moment. I hope I can remember it when I'm old because it was just so precious to me. And to think I could have missed it by being on my phone (yes, I was reading at the same time but I feel like my books are easier to multi-task with...and I set it down after this moment) or being at work. Please don't take that last part the wrong way; I understand some women have to work. I'm in a very wonderful position where I don't have to and I'm so grateful for that. I would have hated to miss this moment (and hundreds of more I've been blessed to have). "One day we look at our child only to realize that they haven't said a word in a certain way, or asked for that blanket they used to require for bedtime, or worn those footie pajamas they used to refuse to take off, or asked us to hold their hand over the foot bridge." Those are the moments that matter to me. The time I notice when they've grown bigger or are still very small. When I hold my big boy's hand and realize he's only got less than a knuckle to have mom-sized hands. When I hold my little girl's hand and feel it's smallness in my hand, knowing all too well how fast her hands will grow. When I look at the teeth growing in my middle boy or feel the kicks of my smallest in my belly. These are the moments that I will treasure from the 936 weeks.
"936 Weeks" is worth the time it takes to read it. Lynum sheds some interesting light on different aspects that we can be more intentional about in our parenting. Getting outside, paying attention, having adventures! I would be very interested in a follow-up book from her in about six years!!
Disclaimer: I received this book in order to write an honest review. Others' opinions may differ from mine and that's ok!
The premise is that we have approximately 936 weeks from our child's birth to when they turn 18-years-old. Whoa! 936 weeks. Lynum was presented with a jar of 936 pennies on the days her children were dedicated at church. By those calculations I have approximately 360some weeks left with my 10-year-old, 470some weeks left with my 8-year-old, and 780some weeks with my 2-year-old. That's kind of mind-blowing, isn't it?
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| image via 936penniesbook.com |
I also came to realize how young Lynum's children are. Her oldest is no older than 6-years-old. At that age, he may not even be in kindergarten! She hasn't gotten to the point where her boys are in Cub Scouts two times every month (times two boys) or go out for soccer and swim team, have school programs to attend. Add in our adult things - small group, leadership church meetings, etc, and sometimes it feels like family time in itself (inside or outside) is a commodity. That's sad but it's reality. And we aren't even the busiest family we know! Our kids don't play baseball or softball, they don't take piano or go to gymnastics/dance classes. We do camps one time a year in the summer when we have more free time. Family time is worth fighting for - absolutely, but it's difficult for me to take advice from someone with children who are so young. Someone who has hardly seen the tip of the iceberg in parenting. That's not to say this book isn't valuable.
I loved her chapters on "Speaking of Time" which revolved around our mouths, words, and characters as moms. She uses Ephesians 4:29 that says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Lynum says, "Our words hold incredible power. Although we will certainly use them wrongly, we also have the opportunity and responsibility to speak words that will build our children up. It is a high calling but also an incredible privilege to gift our children with words of life, and to witness them flourishing because of them." That's awesome! "Our words are one thing that we will give our children that will last beyond these 936 weeks; words hold the power to influence them for the rest of our days, and for generations." My mouth is one of my biggest struggles so I hold tight to the thought that my words can have power over my children.
My very favorite chapter was called "Chapters." She talked about paying attention to our kids. Really paying attention. While I was reading this chapter, I was sitting outside on our front step with my daughter, eating lunch. I felt her lean into my crossed legs and it was such a beautiful moment. I hope I can remember it when I'm old because it was just so precious to me. And to think I could have missed it by being on my phone (yes, I was reading at the same time but I feel like my books are easier to multi-task with...and I set it down after this moment) or being at work. Please don't take that last part the wrong way; I understand some women have to work. I'm in a very wonderful position where I don't have to and I'm so grateful for that. I would have hated to miss this moment (and hundreds of more I've been blessed to have). "One day we look at our child only to realize that they haven't said a word in a certain way, or asked for that blanket they used to require for bedtime, or worn those footie pajamas they used to refuse to take off, or asked us to hold their hand over the foot bridge." Those are the moments that matter to me. The time I notice when they've grown bigger or are still very small. When I hold my big boy's hand and realize he's only got less than a knuckle to have mom-sized hands. When I hold my little girl's hand and feel it's smallness in my hand, knowing all too well how fast her hands will grow. When I look at the teeth growing in my middle boy or feel the kicks of my smallest in my belly. These are the moments that I will treasure from the 936 weeks.
"936 Weeks" is worth the time it takes to read it. Lynum sheds some interesting light on different aspects that we can be more intentional about in our parenting. Getting outside, paying attention, having adventures! I would be very interested in a follow-up book from her in about six years!!
Disclaimer: I received this book in order to write an honest review. Others' opinions may differ from mine and that's ok!
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