We had a snow day today (and probably tomorrow). It started off good...then went south as the second child woke up and the bickering commenced. Then it swelled to a big yell-fest by yours truly until it crumbled into a heap of tears from the three of us.
The rest of our day has gone much smoother, like we needed to get that out of the way. But really the only thing that got out of our way was my attitude. I don't know why I act the ways I tell myself I won't act (wow, that sounds like some disciple I once read about...). I don't want to yell, yet I yell. I don't want to lose my patience, but I end up snapping. Ugh.
Yet, I am reminded by a blog I found upon a friend's Facebook link that my attitude let satan in today. I let him admire me for my lost patience, my endurance not gained, my time wasted in stress.
No more. Yelling does nothing for me and I hate when I do it. And through the power of the Holy Spirit in me, I will quit. It may not be cold turkey (although, who knows? Nothing is impossible with God!), but it will happen. I yell less today than I did a year ago, less then than I did a year before. I am getting better by God's grace.
I am learning too that I will not feel guilty over this. Guilt will only be a foothold to the devil, too, but I will allow this conviction to turn my heart from sin. In my anger, I do not need to sin. I cannot wait to share the book "It's Going to Be Okay" by Holley Gerth with you when I'm finished reading it.
Or you could start reading it yourself. I highly recommend it. It really is going to be okay through Christ.
It's ok if you yelled at your kids today.
It's ok if you blew it today.
It's ok if you sinned again today.
It's ok.... as long as we recognize this sin, repent, and start over!
Our God is the God of second chances. Give yourself grace and allow His grace to overwhelm you.