Monday, November 5, 2012

parenting prayers

Sunday school has always been rough with Moose. We had him in services with us for a few years, but that always resulted in one of us leaving the service. So we tried Sunday school for children or children's church. We've been at our current church for about 2 years now, so Moose would have been 3 when we began (wow!).

It was great when he could be in the 2-year-old room (we had him in there for a year or more?). They really just play the whole time and maybe have a craft or lesson (maybe they do every time?), but it's just less structured.

And then we moved him up and it just has seemed hard. Not in the sense that he cries when we leave him; no. He's fine with that. He just likes things his own way so when it doesn't go his way - when another kid "messes up" the trains or he doesn't want to go sing or sit for the story - Moose acts out.

It used to be fits. Crying and boo-hooing. And we have a wonderful woman who heads up our children's department (for lack of a better term in my sleep-deprived brain) at church who has worked so hard to help Moose be in class. We feel that's where he needs to be. We feel that's where he's going to learn and grow in fellowship with other children and learn about Jesus (not saying it's the church's job to teach my kids about Jesus. I do that at home, but it's an appropriate supplement).

It's been a rollercoaster ride, truly. He has some very good days. But when he has bad days or times, he can't answer the questions to help us figure out how to help him. They do sensory with him between Sunday school and children's church. We try to give him an incentive - usually running after church or if there's a potluck, dessert.

I guess it's not just Sunday school, either, because he acted up at school on Friday. Not that that's new, but 3 times in the time out chair in one day? That's not good. He spit on TWO kids and squeezed another's arm. Today in Sunday school/children's church he spit on the nice lady who heads up the children's department and then hit another kid (or kids? that wasn't very clear in my explanation).

SIGH

What's a mama to do? We had talked about not hitting and spitting and squeezing RIGHT BEFORE church! I try to tell him that we don't spit because it's gross and rude and Jesus has told us to love our neighbors (which is everyone) so that's not loving behavior. Hitting is rude and it hurts and it's not loving. I feel I should tape record myself, but I say it in different ways hoping to make that connection to my son.

He's so smart. He knows it's not nice. He doesn't want me to spit on him (I asked). And yet...what do I do? Sometimes I feel like I should have the answer and that people are looking to me for the answer. I'm his mom and I know him better than anyone else (true story). But I don't know how to make him not spit or hit or squeeze or anything else.

I don't want just the behaviors to stop. Yes, they embarrass me, to be honest (let me be clear, the behaviors are embarrassing, not my son). But I want his heart to change. I want him to truly love Jesus Christ so that he truly loves his neighbors and so that he truly changes his behaviors based upon that.

Yet I can't make him love Jesus. I can't make him follow His commands. I can't make his heart turn from sin to holiness. And yet I want to. I want to so badly - for both of my sons. I want them to know the love relationship I have with Our Lord so that they can be free from sin. So that they can love fully and live fully and live eternally in communion with Our Heavenly Father.

So pray. I know I have some Prayer Warriors reading along. Pray for me, for Big A, for the teachers and workers at school and church, and pray pray pray pray for my Moose. Pray for a heart transplant for that child. Pray his sinful heart will be turned to a redeemed heart. And while you're at it, the same prayer for my sweet Squirt would be wonderful.

3 comments:

In Light of the Truth... said...

Oh hun, what a challenging and frustrating and discouraging thing to have to deal with each week... Is there a replacement behavior you could teach him for when he gets mad and wants to hit? Like crossing his arms and counting to 10 (or SOMETHING) and then practicing it in scenarios at home.

Linda said...

You are such a wonderful mama! I have felt some of the same things you have with my special child.

I know we are not dealing with the same issues but I have to say that we have seen a huge change in our child as she matures. The early years were SO ROUGH and we will never see perfection but your faithfulness will pay off.

God is always faithful and He will mold your boy into the man He can use.

Love you!

Matt + Kait said...

We will be praying for all of you! Trying to teach kids that they need to obey beyond the point of making mommy and daddy happy can be so hard.....it is out of a love for Jesus! Love your family! =)

happy followers