Wednesday, April 11, 2012

mothering slump

Despite counting my blessings, I feel like I'm in a slump. I have been a SAHM full-time for almost four years now (I graduated college in May 2008). I feel like I'm wearing thin on the idea of what to do every second of every day required to stay home. It's been trickling in for awhile. I'll watch a show while they watch a show instead of watching their show (I have no desire to watch Dora the Explorer). I'll let them play cars and tell them 10 minutes (and that turns in to 30 minutes). I'll scour Facebook, Pinterest, my emails, my favorite blogs...letting them turn those 10 minutes in to 30 minutes.

Our schedule is not routine; it's very loose. We may have story time after breakfast but maybe it will be before lunch...or skipped until bedtime. Maybe we'll work on "school" stuff...maybe not. I don't know if this is laziness on my part or burn out.

So I keep getting asked if I'm ready for my mission trip coming up (April 23-30). The simple answer? Yes. I'm ready for 8 days where I don't have to decide what to do 24/7. I'm ready to not worry over whether my kids are ready for school, social enough, the right weight, watch too much tv, get outside enough but not too much (sun is good for Vitamin D, not so good for fair skin), etc, etc, etc.

Anyone else feel like this sometimes? I just feel like I'm running out of things to do, but I also know I'm running out of time with my kids. I spoke with a friend yesterday about her daughter who is in kindergarten this year. She said it's astonishing how much the other kids influence her child this year. I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to let my kid be influenced by others. [And...maybe that's one of the blessings of Moose's autism. Maybe he won't be as influenced because he could mostly care less about playing with other kids. Random thought.]

One day I would like nothing more than the house to myself for one day to do nothing at all - watch tv, read, sleep, eat what I want. Maybe that can be my Mother's Day gift. ha!

3 comments:

In Light of the Truth... said...

You are a fantastic mom to your boys! I'm amazed at all you DO do with them! Taking them to the park all the time, going for walks! It IS always good to arrange a free day for yourself, a break when you CAN do whatever you want without feeling guilty about it! Heck, this morning I took a bubble bath while the kids played in the next room. I was so just cold today, and I actually did resort to turning the heat back on. Wish I had something to suggest to you, but we all get in those ruts sometimes. Start planning things with other friends. Invite them over or meet them at the park or have a picnic lunch even if it's on your living room floor. Things like that always help me. HUGS, friend!

Stacey said...

I'm often in the same boat :) It goes up and down. Some days I'm "super mom" and most of the time, I'm exactly like your post ;) Hang in there! I'm sure your missions trip will be AMAZING!

Anonymous said...

My ex always asked me what I wanted for my Birthday and Christmas,etc... I always answered 24 hours to myself.... I never got it. I just wanted him to take the kids and let me have space. I do understand what you are talking about. The mission trip will be good for you and for the family. Makes us appreciate what we have. Good luck.

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