Despite counting my blessings, I feel like I'm in a slump. I have been a SAHM full-time for almost four years now (I graduated college in May 2008). I feel like I'm wearing thin on the idea of what to do every second of every day required to stay home. It's been trickling in for awhile. I'll watch a show while they watch a show instead of watching their show (I have no desire to watch Dora the Explorer). I'll let them play cars and tell them 10 minutes (and that turns in to 30 minutes). I'll scour Facebook, Pinterest, my emails, my favorite blogs...letting them turn those 10 minutes in to 30 minutes.
Our schedule is not routine; it's very loose. We may have story time after breakfast but maybe it will be before lunch...or skipped until bedtime. Maybe we'll work on "school" stuff...maybe not. I don't know if this is laziness on my part or burn out.
So I keep getting asked if I'm ready for my mission trip coming up (April 23-30). The simple answer? Yes. I'm ready for 8 days where I don't have to decide what to do 24/7. I'm ready to not worry over whether my kids are ready for school, social enough, the right weight, watch too much tv, get outside enough but not too much (sun is good for Vitamin D, not so good for fair skin), etc, etc, etc.
Anyone else feel like this sometimes? I just feel like I'm running out of things to do, but I also know I'm running out of time with my kids. I spoke with a friend yesterday about her daughter who is in kindergarten this year. She said it's astonishing how much the other kids influence her child this year. I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to let my kid be influenced by others. [And...maybe that's one of the blessings of Moose's autism. Maybe he won't be as influenced because he could mostly care less about playing with other kids. Random thought.]
One day I would like nothing more than the house to myself for one day to do nothing at all - watch tv, read, sleep, eat what I want. Maybe that can be my Mother's Day gift. ha!