Wednesday, December 21, 2011

bang bang

Today was Moose's Christmas party and it went pretty well. He's been VERY defiant at school and at home lately. You tell him one thing and he wants the opposite - fairly consistently. But he ended up standing up and singing with his classmates (definitely not as well as he did at church but he could see me today). Overall a really good party.
Then I get home and read his planner notes for today. "Kept wanting a gun at school (used a block). I finally had to get really firm (no guns at school - we don't want to hear it again - Mr. G [the principal] says no guns at school). Then [Moose] said, "I'm getting frustrated. I want to go home." He says this quite often when told NO."

What do I do? I can't think of where he would pick up guns from. Yes, he watched The Fox and the Hound, but that doesn't sound like a rifle he was wanting if he used a block. And he's never pretended to use a gun at home, ever! I'm scouring my mind to wrap it around this. I guess, on one hand, it's good he used something as something else (a block as a gun) - shows some imagination. But what do I do? I'm not 100% guns - I don't mind hunting (not that I want to do it) and of course, I like that our police force and military have them to keep us safe. But how do I explain that to my 4-year-old. Maybe another 4yo would understand those roles, but I don't think mine would. Advice??

And then the defiance. He opposes almost everything I say. It's time to play - he goes and sits on the couch. It's time to pick up - "no it's time to play cars." No more tv - meltdown. He and Squirt both say "I am so frustrated" when they get upset or get told no. It's so frustrating (pun intended). I do NOT want a disobedient child. I'm trying my best but it's not cutting it. Any suggestions?


Studied to be a Mommy said...

Avery does the gun thing too. Just like you, I have NO idea where he picked it up. But, I don't think there is a way to make kids understand why that isn't appropriate play at school until they can understand death and how serious guns are. So my advice (and what we are doing) is to not make too big of a deal out of it. He's not doing it because he wants to hurt anyone and calling more attention to it than necessary will just make him want to do it more. I think it needs to be more about learning to mind his teacher because she gave him an instruction that he didn't follow. Disobedience is something that we ALL deal with. With ourselves, and with our children. You are doing great, and you aren't alone!!

Anonymous said...

He probably got it from another kid at school. We are dealing with that with our foster son..We dont even let him watch Toy Story because he focuses on the toy soldiers with the guns. He also does not understand the boundries. As far as the defiance, all I can say is 'patience and consistency'. I am sure you are doing a great job.

angie said...

When my oldest was 3 she picked up a big stick, held it like a gun, pointed it at Jeff and said, "I'm Amos". It was really funny. I think that ALL kids are drawn to guns!

Merry Christmas. Wishing you MUCH joy!

Gledwood said...

hi long time no see but have a very merry xmas and a brilliant 2012!!!!

happy followers