Wednesday, October 13, 2010

inappropriate? {some adult language about body parts}

One of the Hot Topics on The View on October 7 was whether it is appropriate for a dad to kiss his daughter on the lips. The topic flowed to whether it was appropriate for parents to bathe with their children. I'm curious as to your reactions.

Personally, once in awhile, my dad will still kiss me on the lips. I'll admit, my first reaction is "that's weird" but then it's not. It's my dad, not some other middle-aged man. If it were one of my uncles kissing me on the lips - weird. Very. I don't remember a lot of small things like that about my childhood, whether my parents lip kissed me or not. I'm sure we did because I vaguely remember them lip kissing my younger sister. I think it's always appropriate for a parent to kiss their children on the lips (as long as it's not a tongue kiss or otherwise inappropriately long kiss).

We kiss both of our sons on the lips. Right now, we sort of kiss the inside of Squirt's mouth but he doesn't always kiss with his mouth closed (why do kids do that?). I will continue to kiss my boys on their lips until they ask me not to (hopefully a LONG time from now).

As for bathing, we used to bathe with out boys. When Moose was the only child, it was easier to bathe with him sometimes. He never has asked questions necessarily about bodies, but he has pointed out things. He knows what "boobs" are (once in awhile, he'll see me get dressed and say "boobs, right there"). He knows he has a "pee-pee" (maybe he knows it's a "penis" - not sure) and daddy has one too. I think he may also know Squirt has a pee-pee too. He's catching on to the boy/girl thing. It's been awhile since we've had one of these talks, so I can't remember what he thinks I have; just that I don't have a "pee-pee."

I don't bathe with my boys anymore. Squirt's little and I would still with him, but we usually bathe them together. Moose started to point and try to touch my chest, so I stopped bathing with him. I do still get changed in front of him sometimes; but it's always just a matter of I need to get dressed and he's there. For me, that's totally appropriate. As soon as it makes him uncomfortable (and it doesn't yet), then I'll stop or ask him to leave the room so I can change.

Big A still showers or bathes with the boys sometimes. I think he feels the same way I do; when the boys feel uncomfortable about it (or they all don't fit in the shower/bath together haha), then he'll stop. I think it's more appropriate for him to bathe with his son at Moose's age than me. Then Moose can learn more about how to properly clean himself and just be a man. I don't have the same anatomy, so I can't show him some things (like standing up to pee).

Now, this is just my family. I don't wish to offend anyone by our choices. But I am curious about your choices. Do you bathe with your child(ren) or would you? Do you change in front of them? Does your husband or wife? What about lip kissing?


Allie said...

I kiss my mother on the lips occasionally, never my dad but that's just because I never did, it's not like him he's not very affectionate. I do have an uncle that I kiss on the lips but he kisses everyone on the lips, it's not weird or creepy because that is just how he is, always has been. I really think it depends on the person, my husband kisses both our kids on the lips now but I can almost guarantee as they get older that will stop, it's just not like him.
As for bathing, I haven't allowed my son to shower with me since he was 2, he can shower with my husband but rarely does and my daughter can shower with me but only does it about once a month. I just don't think it's appropriate for them to see the opposite sex naked.

jaesi said...

Ill throw a kid in the shower with me to save time :) and have no problem with it...for now.

Absolutely kiss on the lips. mwah.

Theresa said...

I don't wish to offend anyone by our choices either, but I have to answer no, no, no and no. That is just how our family does things.

Cori said...

My husband's family lip-kisses eachother. His mom still kisses him on the lips and honestly, I think if I didn't turn my head, that she'd kiss me on the lips too. It isn't weird for them at all.

My sister and I never lip-kissed our parents, or at least not that I can remember. I wasn't even able to drink out of the same cup, because of backwash - so, I doubt they were lettng me give them slobbery toddler kisses. haha

I think it's fine as long as it is a peck and not awkward for those involved or for those watching. We can all sense when something is awkward - I guess it is to the best judgement of those doing it.

When my husband kissed his mom for the first time, I didn't think anything of it, until I thought she might kiss me too. Then, I realized the possible awkwardness.

Who knows? Tough question! :)

Lil' Momma @ Five in Training for HIM said...

I have 3 kids, when they were young enough for me to hold in the shower. I would shower with them. In fact I loved showering w/ them when they were only a few weeks old. All three of them have nursed while in the shower. :^) But once my oldest son was old enough stand in the shower, he stopped taking showers with me. He took a few w/ his dad after that but not many. He became very independent very young when it came to showers. My two youngest (3yr-2yr) bathe together right now. My daughter (3yr) has only showered w/ me a handful of times in the past year. Same goes w/ her 2 yr old brother. But that is because it is just easier to bath them together. I dread the day I have to separate them in the bath. But I know it is coming. As for dressing infront of them. No I do not dress infront of my 11 year old. He has seen his share of boob due to me nursing the two little ones. (still night nursing the 2 year old) but to him they are just Mom nursing the littles. Still dress infront of my littles, guess I still will until it gets uncomfortable. My husband does not shower w/ any of them, he is usually to dirty from work to have a little in the shower w/ him. He does walk from bathroom to bedroom in his underware but he is trying to break himself of that habit as our daughter is getting older and we want her to keep her clothes on, (she loves to go around in her diaper, yes she is still not potty trained that is a blog post all by itself) I am w/ you each family is different.

Honey Mommy said...

At our house we reserve lip kissing for Mommy and Daddy. We kiss the boys on the cheeks, but not on the lips.

Since I am the only girl in our house, I am the one who has to think about modesty. As my boys are getting bigger I try not to be naked in front of them too much. I have no qualms about putting the boys in the shower with Daddy and occasionally I will put the younger one in with me to save time.

happy followers