inappropriate? {some adult language about body parts}
One of the Hot Topics on The View on October 7 was whether it is appropriate for a dad to kiss his daughter on the lips. The topic flowed to whether it was appropriate for parents to bathe with their children. I'm curious as to your reactions.
Personally, once in awhile, my dad will still kiss me on the lips. I'll admit, my first reaction is "that's weird" but then it's not. It's my dad, not some other middle-aged man. If it were one of my uncles kissing me on the lips - weird. Very. I don't remember a lot of small things like that about my childhood, whether my parents lip kissed me or not. I'm sure we did because I vaguely remember them lip kissing my younger sister. I think it's always appropriate for a parent to kiss their children on the lips (as long as it's not a tongue kiss or otherwise inappropriately long kiss).
We kiss both of our sons on the lips. Right now, we sort of kiss the inside of Squirt's mouth but he doesn't always kiss with his mouth closed (why do kids do that?). I will continue to kiss my boys on their lips until they ask me not to (hopefully a LONG time from now).
As for bathing, we used to bathe with out boys. When Moose was the only child, it was easier to bathe with him sometimes. He never has asked questions necessarily about bodies, but he has pointed out things. He knows what "boobs" are (once in awhile, he'll see me get dressed and say "boobs, right there"). He knows he has a "pee-pee" (maybe he knows it's a "penis" - not sure) and daddy has one too. I think he may also know Squirt has a pee-pee too. He's catching on to the boy/girl thing. It's been awhile since we've had one of these talks, so I can't remember what he thinks I have; just that I don't have a "pee-pee."
I don't bathe with my boys anymore. Squirt's little and I would still with him, but we usually bathe them together. Moose started to point and try to touch my chest, so I stopped bathing with him. I do still get changed in front of him sometimes; but it's always just a matter of I need to get dressed and he's there. For me, that's totally appropriate. As soon as it makes him uncomfortable (and it doesn't yet), then I'll stop or ask him to leave the room so I can change.
Big A still showers or bathes with the boys sometimes. I think he feels the same way I do; when the boys feel uncomfortable about it (or they all don't fit in the shower/bath together haha), then he'll stop. I think it's more appropriate for him to bathe with his son at Moose's age than me. Then Moose can learn more about how to properly clean himself and just be a man. I don't have the same anatomy, so I can't show him some things (like standing up to pee).
Now, this is just my family. I don't wish to offend anyone by our choices. But I am curious about your choices. Do you bathe with your child(ren) or would you? Do you change in front of them? Does your husband or wife? What about lip kissing?
Personally, once in awhile, my dad will still kiss me on the lips. I'll admit, my first reaction is "that's weird" but then it's not. It's my dad, not some other middle-aged man. If it were one of my uncles kissing me on the lips - weird. Very. I don't remember a lot of small things like that about my childhood, whether my parents lip kissed me or not. I'm sure we did because I vaguely remember them lip kissing my younger sister. I think it's always appropriate for a parent to kiss their children on the lips (as long as it's not a tongue kiss or otherwise inappropriately long kiss).
We kiss both of our sons on the lips. Right now, we sort of kiss the inside of Squirt's mouth but he doesn't always kiss with his mouth closed (why do kids do that?). I will continue to kiss my boys on their lips until they ask me not to (hopefully a LONG time from now).
As for bathing, we used to bathe with out boys. When Moose was the only child, it was easier to bathe with him sometimes. He never has asked questions necessarily about bodies, but he has pointed out things. He knows what "boobs" are (once in awhile, he'll see me get dressed and say "boobs, right there"). He knows he has a "pee-pee" (maybe he knows it's a "penis" - not sure) and daddy has one too. I think he may also know Squirt has a pee-pee too. He's catching on to the boy/girl thing. It's been awhile since we've had one of these talks, so I can't remember what he thinks I have; just that I don't have a "pee-pee."
I don't bathe with my boys anymore. Squirt's little and I would still with him, but we usually bathe them together. Moose started to point and try to touch my chest, so I stopped bathing with him. I do still get changed in front of him sometimes; but it's always just a matter of I need to get dressed and he's there. For me, that's totally appropriate. As soon as it makes him uncomfortable (and it doesn't yet), then I'll stop or ask him to leave the room so I can change.
Big A still showers or bathes with the boys sometimes. I think he feels the same way I do; when the boys feel uncomfortable about it (or they all don't fit in the shower/bath together haha), then he'll stop. I think it's more appropriate for him to bathe with his son at Moose's age than me. Then Moose can learn more about how to properly clean himself and just be a man. I don't have the same anatomy, so I can't show him some things (like standing up to pee).
Now, this is just my family. I don't wish to offend anyone by our choices. But I am curious about your choices. Do you bathe with your child(ren) or would you? Do you change in front of them? Does your husband or wife? What about lip kissing?
Comments
As for bathing, I haven't allowed my son to shower with me since he was 2, he can shower with my husband but rarely does and my daughter can shower with me but only does it about once a month. I just don't think it's appropriate for them to see the opposite sex naked.
Absolutely kiss on the lips. mwah.
My sister and I never lip-kissed our parents, or at least not that I can remember. I wasn't even able to drink out of the same cup, because of backwash - so, I doubt they were lettng me give them slobbery toddler kisses. haha
I think it's fine as long as it is a peck and not awkward for those involved or for those watching. We can all sense when something is awkward - I guess it is to the best judgement of those doing it.
When my husband kissed his mom for the first time, I didn't think anything of it, until I thought she might kiss me too. Then, I realized the possible awkwardness.
Who knows? Tough question! :)
Since I am the only girl in our house, I am the one who has to think about modesty. As my boys are getting bigger I try not to be naked in front of them too much. I have no qualms about putting the boys in the shower with Daddy and occasionally I will put the younger one in with me to save time.