Saturday, May 22, 2010

failure or acceptance?

Since I began telling everyone about running a marathon, so many have told me I "should" run a half before I run a full. It's probably true. It's probably smart. And it's most definitely true for me.

Today I decided that a half marathon is much more do-able for me right now. There are various reasons.

The price of the marathon vs. the price of a half marathon. It's not much of a difference but when you are just getting by (and you have two kids in diapers), that difference makes a difference. I'm also hoping that if we decide to do a full marathon, we can set some money aside easier if we wait awhile.

The time commitment to getting the long runs in. I know that some women (and men) can work full-time jobs and train for a marathon (or longer runs). Not me. I don't necessarily want to take THAT much time away from my husband when I don't see him very much the way it is. I also have been thinking about Squirt's first birthday coming up soon; he's only going to be this small for so long (well, he's so darn skinny, he may be this small for awhile but you understand). I want to be here to see him (although I am here every day, too).

I just felt such a pressure release when I really considered the half marathon. One of my running blogger friends (and I apologize because I honestly can't remember who was wise enough to send me this email) emailed me and told me to not push myself too hard, to enjoy the milestones. It reminded me of when I was trying to breastfeed Squirt after coming home from the hospital; the nurse told me I should be enjoying him - and I wasn't. So we bottle fed (again). It's the same thing here. I want to enjoy running; I also want to push myself and I need a goal to motivate myself. But I'm not really enjoying it. I think with a smaller goal (but one that's tough nonetheless) this is going to turn out to be a good decision for me and my family.

I'm just the type of person who doesn't want to disappoint. So I hope that my family and my friends are still proud of me. I'm thinking a half marathon this fall and then we'll think about a full marathon for next spring (the one we'd consider is much flatter, too - bonus).

Have you ever had to cut back on a goal? How did you feel? Guilty? Relieved?


angie said...

I think a half marathon is amazingly phenomenal. A Half marathon is still FAR. A half marathon is definitely something to be proud of! Kudos to you!

Theresa said...

I think I would feel relieved to not have so much pressure put on me. Not that I could run a half-marathon. That is amazing.

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