Monday, November 16, 2009

The Baby Whisperer

On the recommendation of a MOPS mom after hearing that I intend to let Squirt "cry it out" within the next month or so, I checked out "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" from my local library.

I haven't read it all...nor do I intend to. Were there good ideas that probably work? Yes.

But I was insulted by her saying that it's cruel to let my child cry it out, like I'm neglecting him. No, I'm not. It's how I teach him to put himself to sleep. And Moose never felt abandoned. He trusts me completely, thank you very much. I'm completely insulted that anyone would claim otherwise.

I was also insulted when she said that babies don't know anything about sleeping or eating when they're born. I'm sorry, eating and sleeping are about the only things the poor dears DO know. My son(s) knows when he is tired and when he's hungry. I may not know these things (seriously, his cries sound exactly the same unless he's super upset), but he knows if he's hungry or tired.

I do like her Pick Up/Put Down method except for the laying him on his side. Pediatricians say that SIDS is more likely in kids that sleep on their tummies and sides. Although I experimented with it and maintain that if it's right for your child, then that's fine, I don't agree that an expert should promote anything other than back to sleep.

My last tidbit on this book is that her "routine" isn't what every child needs. She says that if a baby is over 6.5 lbs. that he should be able to go at least 3 hours without eating. Moose wasn't like that at all. Squirt is turning out to not be like that. He CAN go up to 4 hours without eating (excluding night because he sleeps through the night) but now it's usually 2 hours (just like his brother).

Oh sorry, really only 2 more things. I will NOT wake a sleeping baby unless necessary. Just like dogs, you let sleeping babies lie. And also, even if she's worked with children for 100 years, if she doesn't have her own, it's completely different. Every child is different, every family is different, and methods (good or "bad" as long as not dangerous) aren't always "right" for your family.

If you're an advocate of this book, praises be yours. I'll probably pull tidbits and use them, but when it comes time, Squirt will cry it out. But he won't have much problems, we have a bedtime routine. The hard thing for us will be when he is no longer swaddled. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.


Me said...

Oh! I completely agree with EVERYTHING you said here!

angie said...

I think it's so great to be able to read books and weed through their ideas and be able to critically look at them and your own life and see where their ideas work and where they don't. I also don't believe in waking sleeping children, UNLESS it means they are sleeping too much during the day which makes them not sleep at night. I've never had the discipline to let my children cry it out, but I DON'T think it's wrong, either. I think one of the best things you can do for your children it teach them to comfort themselves and SLEEP appropriately. Afterall, that's when growning takes place, right? :)

EmmaP said...

i agree that not every technique is right for every child. That being said, not every technique is right for every mom either, lol!

you have to do what is right for your SANITY and of course, which doesnt harm the baby. At least youre having a TECHNIQUE! if those who have played a horrible part in shaken-baby syndrome would have had a plan/technique in place... *sigh*

That being said, I was not one that could let my baby cry. but i would never critcize anyone else. i mean BOTH theories are tested and proved and BOTH are okay. for me, i felt awful -- i just couldn't buy into it. i felt like i wanted my baby to learn that i would always be there. of course, as they got older, 1 yr old, etc., then things were different. i did implement some of the methods you mentioned in order to teach them to pacify themselves.

Funny, that some parents get criticized for letting them "cry it out". i wasn't aware. I was criticized for "Giving IN" hahaha!

oh - and seriously??? a SHREW??? EWWWWW!!!! Poor Thing! now i REALLY need to go shower!

Life with Kaishon said...

I never read the book. It sounds like you are right on point though. Isn't every baby different. I laughed about babies not knowing when they were hungry. I think I have definitely heard a hunger cry before : )

Ali said...

I was too much of a sucker to let my babies cry it out but toddler tantrums? I could let them go on all day as long as I had earplugs! Books that are intended to make one a better parent usually end up making me feel like a bad one most of the time:)

Nicole said...

I read this series when my daughter was born. And while I found myself ignoring her insults.....because I also felt her wording at times was insulting, I just took what worked for me and applied it. I always aspired not to let my daughter cry it out, but on occasion it happened. I think the important part of your post, is that everyone should pull what works for them and their vision of how to raise their family. Books are a great way to gain ideas and new perspectives, but they are in no way the ONLY way for ALL people. Bravo for taking what worked for you and letting the rest of it go by the wayside! I enjoyed you post today on my blog, thanks for popping by and giving me your perspective on Balancing Motherhood! :))

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