Monday, July 6, 2009

having a hard time

As excited as I am to get this labor stuff over with an meet our new baby, I can't even explain how overwhelmed I am about having to be away from Moose for a few days.
I know I'm leaving him in very capable hands (my mom), but I can't help but be so sad to not be taking care of him. And what makes it worse is that he's been super cranky the last few days so I've probably yelled at him so much.
Today he actually addressed me as "mama" as in said "mama?" and wanted up on my lap. He's never actually acknowledged me like that. He'll kiss me when he's told to kiss mama, but never called me that by name.
I'm super paranoid that something will happen while I'm away or that, at the least, he'll be too much to handle with tantrums and just his schedule being so off. I don't want things to be so crazy for him. I don't want to come home to our schedule being so screwed up.
I think about it for a split second and I just start bawling. Maybe that's so stupid. I don't know, but it's how I feel.
I miss him already.

10 comments:

Me said...

Not stupid.

NOT.

I was so worried about Kate when we had Emma. And I will be worried about both of them when this next one comes end of the year.

I had never been away from Kate except for work :( and it was the first overnight for us.

It's hard, but just be sure to keep in touch. Make sure you tell him why he's gonna be with your Mom, let him come be with you while you're in labor (as long as it's not too bad) and visit as soon as baby is born. Keep him excited for what's happening and yes, he may be upset over missing his Mama, but he will be okay :)

You'll do great. Good luck with labor, but again, you'll do great :)

Good Luck!

Your cool friend Cheryl said...

This was a HUGE mess of anxiety for me. Somehow, though, it works out. The 2 days that you're apart will be a blur! And once you're home, neither of you will remember being apart.

Good luck!

EmmaP said...

um... yeah, plud don't forget you're a little hormonal. :)

it's totally natural to feel that way. the thing i think is amazing is (my younger two were 22 mos apart) how the older one all of a sudden seems soooo much bigger once the new baby is there.

we'll be saying prayers for moose too! :)

Stacey said...

Oh yeah, it's definitely not easy to do! I was lucky to have my sister in law stay with us for 2 weeks before Bria was born, so Rowan was already used to hanging out with her.

It was actually harder to have him come visit us at the hospital and then have to go home without me. He just didn't look like my baby anymore!

But you know what, life is always changing so quickly. We have to cherish the moment we're in, and be thankful for that time. Moose will be fine with your mom, even if he does miss you.

And once you're home, you'll have lots of time with him again. I liked to read stories to Rowan while I nursed Bria. He liked that too :)

J said...

I was terrified too! Just talk up the whole thing though. Keep reminding him how awesome it will be to be a big brother and how he'll be so amazing at it. And tell him how exciting it will be for him to have his sleepover when you're gone. I don't know him, of course, but at this age they tend to pick up whatever they think you feel about a situation so if you keep telling him it's great he'll probably believe it at least for a while. I find as well that mine are much better behaved for other people, if that offers you any comfort! My mom claims it's because they're still not completely sure how far they can push her or what might happen if they go to far so they don't want to act too bad! I missed Princess so much in the hospital and yep I cried about it, tell the staff you have another child too, and if everything is perfect with you and the baby they might let you go home early because they count you as a pro now! They did it for me...I only had to stay one night and the other women were jealous! Just remember that everything will be okay. Just make a big fuss over Moose when you get home and he'll be happy. Don't say anything about jealously unless he brings it up...it'll just put ideas in his head. Just shower him with praise for all the awesome big boy stuff he can do!

Happy said...

Oh sweetie...I'm sorry I've been lax in getting here to comment.

Everything you are feeling is so normal and I pray for that peace that passes understanding to come to you as you prepare to leave Moose and have your baby.

I'm so anxious to hear how everything goes and you can bet I'll have you in my prayers. For everything. The separation anxiety, the birth, the coming home and getting situated.

Can't wait till your next post!

Jen said...

not stupid just normal. chagne is hard and you are going through a big one. Try and relax, everything will be fine. Take a deep breath.

Alicia said...

it's not stupid at all. trust me, i do the same thing! still! i think it's partially because as mother's we feel guilty sometimes that we are having another baby and that it will take time away from the first...but it's not the case. you'll be fine, moose will be fantastic, and all will be right in the world!! besides, i'm finally sending moose his package tomorrow (the fam is in town so i haven't had time to do squat) and hopefully that will keep him entertained in your absence!!

bluecottonmemory said...

Just because an new experience is new doesn't make you stupid--yes, you're schedule is going to change--for a couple of weeks until you settle into a new comfortable routine. Yes, the relationship with #1 son changes because life changes, but it's a new fuller change. There's more love and excitement in his life now--a new sibling to love, new adventures, new rules,too. When we did the rehearsal dinner for my oldest son, there were soo many pictures of him holding his new baby brother in the hospital (he had 4 baby brothers). Each brother has added something incredible to his life. I pray that blessings fall on you during this most precious time in your life.

Aubrey said...

I can't believe the day is here!!!

I will be thinking of and praying for you all!

Love & HUGS!

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