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Do you ever have days where it feels like you yell at your kids all day? Today ended up being one of those days for me. Big A came home to me crying and Moose just having been done crying. I can't seem to get Moose to really listen to me. He keeps doing stuff, like messing with the computer or turning the tv on and off, that I tell him not to do and it just ticks me off so bad. And I think maybe he feels I'm not spending enough (as much?) time with him. But I don't think I interact any less with him (I mean, Squirt sleeps all day so there's not a heck of a lot of interacting with him).

And...maybe this is wrong, but I feel like I'm having a hard time bonding with Squirt. I love him, I really do. I just feel like it's really really different between us than it is between Moose & I. Did anyone else feel like this with their second? I feel bad about it but I just can't help it.

Sorry if I've been a Debbie Downer lately. This is sometimes the only place I can get stuff off my chest - and, let's face it, some of you with kids have some great advice or at least have been there and can say "it's ok." And sometimes that's all I need.

Comments

Me said…
You are great.

It doesn't help that you still have hormones going thru your body like mad to exacerbate the situation. And ten hours (plus his travel time) is a LONG time when you're dealing with a 2 year old and a newborn.

The bonding is so much harder because you have a toddler to watch and then either screams whenever you HAVE to pay attention to the other.

I have those days. Still. And Now I can blame pregnancy hormones, but I couldn't for the longest time.

It's good to have a place to be able to get these feelings off your chest.

Hope your day got better. :) Hoped you got a great big hug from your Love. That usually makes it (a smidge) better for me. :)
July 29, 2009 at 11:21 PM
Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice said…
First of all I just want to say its your blog and I hope you will feel good about writing how you feel and not apologize! Life is full of ups and downs.

I don't have a second but boy do I get feeling like I am yelling all day. Unfortunately for me it feels like every day!

Moose sounds like mine. They are probably around the same age. I think it's normal. They are boys and in a super exploring testing age when listening comes LAST! Just keep breathing! I know I'm trying here too. :)
July 30, 2009 at 12:37 AM
EmmaP said…
1st of all - say it with me - TERRIBLE TWO's!!! yes, it's true. Two-year olds start acting out a bit. they are leaving their baby stage and entering their little boy stage. they are curious. they are daring. they are risk-takers. they are stubborn. they try to be independent. my oldest one was such a good boy. even his terrible twos weren't THAT bad. my second one was a quiet baby. but he loved to cuddle. He was 22 months when my daughter was born, and then, as if overnight, he turned into a terrible two-year old. and he didn't grow out of it until he was almost 4 i swear. and my daughter... i don't know why, but she didn't seem as cuddly to me. i felt like i didnt enjoy her newborn "babyhood" as much with her as with my boys. i felt exhausted all the time. i lost interest in so many activities. i felt antsy, agitated and hated anything that wasnt quiet or peaceful. i seemed to cry... a lot. finally, at my 6 wk post partum checkup, my dr told me i had a mild case of post partum depression. it wasn't major enough to be overly concerned... but it was good to know it was something real and not me being a cuckoo! good luck, dear!!!
July 30, 2009 at 2:02 AM
Lesley said…
oh lord...I so feel you....it's totally okay...if you can't vent here...where can you vent....and omg...squirt is so cute....I think this is my first chance to say Congratulations...see what happens when I go on vacation?....changes...
July 30, 2009 at 8:47 AM
Alicia said…
oh the joys of toddler-hood...trust me, i have those days all the time! and don't worry about venting, that's what we're here for! and it is a little different bonding the second time around, but don't worry...thats not a bad thing! keep your chin up, this is all NORMAL!
July 30, 2009 at 10:58 AM
Aubrey said…
You vent all you want and we will listen! Anytime.

I think it has a lot to do with the terrible 2s and just a smidge to do with feeling jealous. I have a toddler who doesn't have to compete with anyone for time and he acts like that all.the.time.

Don't be so hard on yourself about your feelings with the bonding. It is all going to be OK! I agree with the other mommies. It is hormones. Lack of sleep. BIG changes. Moose and Squirt know they are loved!
July 30, 2009 at 5:50 PM
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