Saturday, January 31, 2009

home

I think, for me, the hardest part (so far) about living here is that I just don't feel at home. I've always felt at home. Of course, growing up, we lived in one house that I remember so that has always been home. My college felt completely like home, I never felt homesick there. Our first apartment still felt like home at the college. Our second apartment felt like we were striking out on our own, so I felt right at home, especially when we brought Tristan home there. Now I'm afraid I won't feel at home here and it won't feel like I'm bringing this new baby home when the time comes.
Tomorrow we start working over in the house. Another alternate teaching-parent is working with us, and will be there mainly for support and to be sure that the kids aren't pulling our legs in regards to procedures and such. It will be an interesting day, that I will count on. And it's Super Bowl Sunday - woo hoo. I don't like professional football much but I'll sit and watch if they all sit and watch.
Sometimes I feel like my heart is back in Nebraska yet. I do want to be here, I'm very excited to work with our boys...yet I'm terrified. Which I hear is normal and Anthony says it shows how much I care and how well I want to do. Of course I want to do well - these are lives being dealt with here! It's one thing if I ever screw up my own kids; this is a whole other thing!
I guess all I can do is pray for the boys, pray for us, pray for Tristan, and pray we adjust quickly. Take it one day at a time, right? :)

1 comment:

Mommy In Waiting said...

weird--i am totally having dejavu and i swear i have read that post before...even the coloring on your blog makes me think that!! HA! And you know I read your blog, and even though i'm not one of your drunken high school friends i still love you. and i'm glad you always remember my bday & anniversary.

have a great first day--you'll do fine. Feeling at home takes a while for some---especially considering that you moved as far as you did and there are so many big differences like the weather, you moved from rural to CITY....the list could go on.

Love you

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