Tuesday, February 26, 2008

inner peace



Tears stream down her face
as she steadily realizes her fate

Life changes come and go
sometimes with ease, others with hurt

That feeling falls on her shoulders
that He is there, as always

"I'm here, I won't leave"
the whisperer assures

Why does it always take so much effort when things end? And why is the saying "when one door closes, another one opens" so often untrue? There's a note for my mommy tips: don't tell your kids that. Too often we're left exactly where we are minus something when that door closes; it may take days, hours, months, or even years for another one to open.
I know God is calling me to move on with life. I guess He meant everything. There's no other understanding to it all.
I need to realize that my life is good. I have a husband...not just any husband either. He is sensitive, romantic, predictable but able to be spontaneous, reassuring, understanding, handsome, patient (which is really good with me), dependable...so many other things. My son is so sweet. He loves to be held, he loves me like no other. I can make him smile, at least. That's probably the one thing I love about being a mom: he loves me for no reason at all other than I feed him, change him, and play peek-a-boo. I don't have to try with my boys. Big A loves me because of me, he loves me. Not because I cook or clean (because I don't half the time) or because I make the bed (I don't do that). My boys are just so great.
I need to enjoy the time I have with them. If I haven't learned anything else from this trial/situation, it's that. I need God and my family.
Thank you for helping me understand that (you know who you are).
So on to my life. I just wish we could get a fresh start now and not wait 9 weeks. If there was any way that I could finish my classes online, I would. We would move as soon as we could...or at least as soon as Big A finds a job.
Alright, I'm going to go spend time with Moose.

1 comment:

iamtheclay said...

hey i love you. you know that. no matter how crappy i am about expressing that. and you'll never be "that girl who was a bridesmaid in my wedding but we hardly ever talk anymore" that spot has already been taken (lol) but seriously. i love you. im just no good at being friends.

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